..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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