this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize