She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
