Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
