Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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