You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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