your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
