Pants 0. Shit 1.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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