Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Watching her eat just hurts me
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
