For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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