How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
