so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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