Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
