You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
