real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
