i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
