Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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