that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
