break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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