I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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