I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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