a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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