the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
