Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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