I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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