Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
