i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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