I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
