Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Verdict: uncircumcised.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
