Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
