is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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