I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
