i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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