Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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