Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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