I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
