Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
