it was like eating out sand paper
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
