I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
