I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
