wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My life is pants optional.
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