i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
