I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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