she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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