dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
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you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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