You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where is the hickey?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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