at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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