I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
