I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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