This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
meet me or not, i'm out of control
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
