Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
