Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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