Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
