Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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