i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
