No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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