I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
