Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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