do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
