i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
