Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
