Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
