Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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