Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
