Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on

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(224): She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on http://tfl.nu/bnaa

Replies (24) Good night (583) Bad night (5090)
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(813): View more from Florida

she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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(813): she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons http://tfl.nu/lk3m

Replies (37) Good night (693) Bad night (4763)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name

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(571): I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name http://tfl.nu/x94s

Replies (24) Good night (6178) Bad night (952)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..

(256): View more from Alabama

everythings easier when your wearing a toga.

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(205): Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga.. (256): everythings easier when your wearing a toga. http://tfl.nu/a4vc

Replies (22) Good night (7192) Bad night (920)
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(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(404): There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase http://tfl.nu/jdu6

Replies (25) Good night (9246) Bad night (1032)
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(207): View more from Maine

how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.

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(207): how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me. http://tfl.nu/s06p

Replies (16) Good night (3653) Bad night (1954)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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(610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx

Replies (5) Good night (2184) Bad night (680)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.

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(248): I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set. http://tfl.nu/xzj6

Replies (6) Good night (1741) Bad night (527)
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(310): View more from California

Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.

(1-310): View more from California

Shall we take a trip back?

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(310): Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times. (1-310): Shall we take a trip back? http://tfl.nu/btgk

Replies (6) Good night (1849) Bad night (505)
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(518): View more from New York

Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that

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(518): Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that http://tfl.nu/9wbc

Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (405)
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(214): View more from Texas

Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.

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(214): Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask. http://tfl.nu/3wq6

Replies (7) Good night (1463) Bad night (454)
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(417): View more from Missouri

nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.

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(417): nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml. http://tfl.nu/44ox

Replies (3) Good night (882) Bad night (545)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?

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(508): I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself? http://tfl.nu/e252

Replies (3) Good night (954) Bad night (375)
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(206): View more from Washington

there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'

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(206): there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn' http://tfl.nu/cuy3

Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (274)
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(845): View more from New York

then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy

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(845): then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy http://tfl.nu/hfvq

Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (296)

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