too bad you live with your parents still
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
time to smoke my breakfast
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind