Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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  (801): She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid. http://tfl.nu/lqbk
  Replies (11) Good night (735) Bad night (2504)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?

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  (214): I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him? http://tfl.nu/482n
  Replies (88) Good night (1065) Bad night (10043)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.

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  (610): I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning. http://tfl.nu/50tz
  Replies (26) Good night (6724) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5875) Bad night (2498)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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  (813): peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week http://tfl.nu/lvga
  Replies (9) Good night (2416) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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  (989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3
  Replies (5) Good night (2648) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.

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  (740): If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure. http://tfl.nu/7lqe
  Replies (5) Good night (1991) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  FUCK YOU MAN

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  (717): Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in? (1-717): FUCK YOU MAN http://tfl.nu/h049
  Replies (3) Good night (1684) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra

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  (719): There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra http://tfl.nu/4qki
  Replies (2) Good night (1222) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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  (207): I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered. http://tfl.nu/1qcp
  Replies (3) Good night (611) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help

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  (609): TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help http://tfl.nu/xrr6
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...

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  (315): Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night... http://tfl.nu/s4lq
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.

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  (218): I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again. http://tfl.nu/g6kg
  Replies (2) Good night (389) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze

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  (206): We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though. (425): It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze http://tfl.nu/aqsr
  Replies (1) Good night (740) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool

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  (732): Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool http://tfl.nu/bwqp
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (151)

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