"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.