I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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